Theories Part 1

I come up with a lot of random theories. It happens when I get bored. So I've decided to post them here. Maybe I'll be able to come back and prove them one day and they will be come laws. One can dream....

Lyndsey's Theory of Matthew Charles Sanders part A: Matt's too manly for his own good sometimes. And he knows his friends are stupid. Sometimes I think he just watches them and is like "Lord, please remind me again why I'm STILL friends with these people." And then someone does a fart joke and he remembers.

Lyndsey's Theory on Jason "JB Diz" Berry:

part A) Also known as the "Tight Tush Theory";

"The Tight Tush Theory as explained by Lyndsey: Jason Berry's ass is tight. Reasons for that statement? He's a roadie/techie. Thus, he has to lift from the legs to do his work which leads to the lifting and firming of his ass. Secondly, when has his ass been known to look bad in any pants he wears? So, until Lyndsey, the proclaimer of this theorem, can prove that he does not have a firm-bounce-a-quarter-off-it ass Jason Berry is deemed guilty until proved innocent. He shall be called Tight Tush until further notice."

part B) I can just see it. Jason as a nerd in HS. Like, his hair looks too good slicked back for him not have been one. Like, not the brainiac nerd either. The dweeb who played DND. Always had on a cape as a little kid, running around screaming about defending the universe. Had that same cape tucked under his pillows so when he was upset at night from the jocks picking on him, he could pull it out and defend his room from the invaders.