Theories Part 2

I think to do this the most justice. I'll just copy and paste the conversation I had with my friend.

Lyndsey's Theory of Brian Elwin Haner, Jr. part A/ Theory of Avenged Sevenfold part A/ Theory of Matthew Charles Sanders part B:

Me: For some reason, I think Brian is actually innocent minded. Like not to the point of totally innocence because come on. Look at his father. But like, I don't think he really thinks before he speaks sometimes and some of the things he says, he may not mean them the way they sound.

Me: He's a bit too much of a kid.

Friend: Lol yeah

Friend: He's the cutie innocent one

Friend: Who drinks a lot

Me: I mean they all are. They're kind of like the lost boys.

Me: lol

Friend: YES

Friend: Matt's Peter to their Lost Boys

Me: He knows the horrors of growing up so he's keeping them innocent.

Friend: Yup

Me: But Matt never needs to put on tights.

Friend: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Friend: NO

Groundhog Day

To celebrate the upcoming "holiday," I thought I'd share a picture with y'all.

Theories Part 1

I come up with a lot of random theories. It happens when I get bored. So I've decided to post them here. Maybe I'll be able to come back and prove them one day and they will be come laws. One can dream....

Lyndsey's Theory of Matthew Charles Sanders part A: Matt's too manly for his own good sometimes. And he knows his friends are stupid. Sometimes I think he just watches them and is like "Lord, please remind me again why I'm STILL friends with these people." And then someone does a fart joke and he remembers.

Lyndsey's Theory on Jason "JB Diz" Berry:

part A) Also known as the "Tight Tush Theory";

"The Tight Tush Theory as explained by Lyndsey: Jason Berry's ass is tight. Reasons for that statement? He's a roadie/techie. Thus, he has to lift from the legs to do his work which leads to the lifting and firming of his ass. Secondly, when has his ass been known to look bad in any pants he wears? So, until Lyndsey, the proclaimer of this theorem, can prove that he does not have a firm-bounce-a-quarter-off-it ass Jason Berry is deemed guilty until proved innocent. He shall be called Tight Tush until further notice."

part B) I can just see it. Jason as a nerd in HS. Like, his hair looks too good slicked back for him not have been one. Like, not the brainiac nerd either. The dweeb who played DND. Always had on a cape as a little kid, running around screaming about defending the universe. Had that same cape tucked under his pillows so when he was upset at night from the jocks picking on him, he could pull it out and defend his room from the invaders.

The Good Ideas/Bad Ideas list is the best part....

Dreams I've had involving band people:
~Rob Zombie dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts and introducing me to his wife and mother
~Me meeting Marylin Manson and then ending up engaged to him and helping him put on a skirt for some ceremony
~School wide assignment: Two girls for every one guy. I get paired with Zacky V. The goal is to impregnate both girls before the school year is over. The school supplies a living space and the students must have sex every night.
~Me+M.Shadows+Sweat+Hot Skin+Grunts+Moans=One of my favorite dreams
~Bee, Brian, and Jason bought me some silver grills that have fangs.
~I almost had a sex dream in my history class about Brian Haner. I'm in college.
~I had a dream that Patrick Stewart (Star Trek, narrator of TNBC) was my teacher and the whole class was excited about the new Star Trek movie that's coming out.

Good Ideas/Bad Ideas
Eating a whole can of Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce: Bad Idea (something I've done more than once....)
Eating a whole container of Mint Chocolate Creme Filled Pirouette Rolled Wafers: Good Idea
Sending me Jason Berry for the months January through December: Depends on who's asking.....
Using spray paint in an enclosed space for more than two minutes: Bad Idea....eventhough it makes you feel fantastic.
Mixing Crunch Berries and Cookie Crisps for a BIG bowl of cereal: The jury's still out on that one....
Armidillo: According to P.Gates possum on the half shell is a BAD idea
Eating a whole chocolate and caramel dipped apple covered with nuts: Bad idea. Just don't do it.

Things Dealing With The Madre

PROOF THE REV STOLE MY MOM'S SHOE

My mom and I were looking for the shoe that Jimmy ninja'd so we moved the couch. Well we didn't find the shoe but there were a bunch of dead bugs. Which I take as proof that he did in fact NINJA MY MOM'S SHOE!! I mean... The Reverend Tholomew PLAGUE and there were dead bugs behind our couch? Think about it

The BEST conversation between me and my mom EVER

Me: Danzig is going to be here October 11th
Mom: Does he still do the screaming thing?
Me: No, he's not with the Misfits right now. It's just him. But as far as I know he doesn't scream anymore....
Mom: Is he single?
Me: He's like 53 but I think he still looks the same... like short and completely ripped.
Mom: I know... I remember him from the 80s and 90s but I mostly remember the hair and body
Me: Just the important bits huh?
Mom: If he's single....I wonder if he'll be signing stuff...like T-shirts or boobs....
Me: *laughing to the point of being in pain and crying for about 10 minutes straight*
Mom: If you tell anyone I said that I'll deny it.

SECOND BEST CONVERSATION WITH MY MOM!

(continued from another day)
Mom: Oh! I still have to show you those exercises so you can have a better butt. You don't want one that's all flabby and jiggly. You want it nice and tight.
Me: I know. Jordan and I were talking about that the other day. Well not my butt. Just butts on guys and how we like nice tight firm- not finishing that sentence.
Mom: *laughs* Well this is a nice conversation to have.

MOM QUOTE THREE

(Fellini's Pizza)
Mom: *looking at a 20 something emo dude* "Someone needs to eat. Get the big slice honey."
Me: *laughing hysterically beating my fist on the table*

MOM QUOTE FOUR

(Phone conversation)
Mom: Hey I'm in the hood on my way to the sto
Me *lauhging hysterically*
Mom: Um..... Nevermind
Me *can't breathe from laughing*
Mom: I'll try again later

Dinner at Friday's

Me: *trying desperately trying to open my green bendy straw*
Eli (server): Here ley me get that for you *tries to open three different straws*
Mom: You want the pink straw?
Me: I want one that OPENS! *bangs head on the table*
Mom: *opens pink bendy straw and hands it to me*
Eli: *laughs* I guess we were over thinking it.

Conversations with my friends via chat and IM

A Little Piece of the Heaven You'll Never Enter

Muzickalgirl (Mibba): I wuv you all. Excuse my conceit. I know no better. The only time I will say I'm conceited.
CKY:TightTushZealot (Mibba) Lol
M. Vengeance (Mibba): lol
zomby. (Mibba): Well I wuv you too, even with your conceit.
Muzickalgirl (Mibba): So save it if you intend to use it later.
Muzickalgirl (Mibba): With the date and time cuz I will dENY.
M. Vengeance (Mibba): I'm too lazy.
CKY:TightTushZealot (Mibba) It's in the Mibba chat archive.

Mootard (7/21/2009 10:30:20 PM): ...Do you think I'm vain?
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:30:24 PM): Yes.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:30:34 PM): Feel free to hesitate!
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:30:42 PM): And I don't do drugs lol. I just get bursts of energy.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:30:52 PM): Why hesitate when I know the answer?
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:30:58 PM): Lmao. MEAN!
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:31:00 PM): I am not.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:31:17 PM): Truth hurts.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:31:35 PM): It's not the truth.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:31:38 PM): Pffft
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:31:40 PM): Denial
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:32:08 PM): NOT!
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:32:30 PM): Acceptance is the first step.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:33:02 PM): I know it is. But I don't accept lies.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:33:16 PM): When have I lied to you?
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:33:32 PM): ...Damn.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:34:34 PM): Exactly.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:34:55 PM): First for everything!
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:34:59 PM): Maybe.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:35:33 PM): *insert raised eyebrow smilie*
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:36:20 PM): I hate that look. It confirms I'm reaching.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:36:26 PM): Rofl
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:37:43 PM): Hmmm...maybe you're lying making me think that you're tricking me when in reality you're NOT telling the truth.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:39:55 PM): Or I could simply be telling the truth knowing that you won't want to believe me either way it goes so you'll come up with stupid scenarios in order to make yourself feel better about the above average level of self-love you have.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:40:22 PM): Above average level of self-love? Lmao ow.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:40:46 PM): Like I said. Truth hurts.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:41:21 PM): I meant wow but yeeesh. I do not have an above average level. Self-esteem is above level now? Given the skanks of America, I mean, okay.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:42:30 PM): People with a normal self-esteem have highs and lows. Not once have I known you to have a day where you are just completely down on yourself.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:42:48 PM): I have had days when I am down on myself.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:43:11 PM): If you say so.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:43:46 PM): Lol
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:44:09 PM): Look, I'm not down on myself often. Cuz I mean, pfft what is there to be down about
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:45:17 PM): Way to prove my point. It could also be that I just don't think the same way you do. Therefore, to me, you are vain. In my mind, people who talk about themselves constantly lack humility and understanding of what actually matters in this life.
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:45:45 PM): Lmao I understand what matters. You know that. So you just think I lack humility. XD
Mootard (7/21/2009 10:45:52 PM): DAMN! I did prove your point.
lyndsey (7/21/2009 10:46:18 PM): In essence, yes you did.

lyndsey: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM WHERE DID YOU GO WHERE DID YOU COME FROM COTTON EYE JOE!
lyndsey: Lol someone was playing the spoons at the party last night
Mootard: Oh Lord.
Mootard: What the thing you use to screw drills in?
Mootard: It's electric..
lyndsey: What? No. Two metal eating spoons.
Mootard: I'm asking you what the thing is~
lyndsey: I'm confused.
Mootard: I'm asking you what the tool is that you use to drill screws in the wall!
Mootard: It's electric it makes a cool sound.
lyndsey: Read all the words in that sentence carefully.
lyndsey: And feel the power of my mental smacks.
lyndsey: Maybe even a punt in the cooter if you don't get it.
Mootard: An electric screwdriver.
Mootard: There's no other name for it?
Mootard: Oh.
Mootard: A drill.
Mootard: HAHAHAA
Mootard: Ow.
lyndsey: Exactly.
lyndsey: Mootard.
Mootard: Sorry!

mulisskaa: lol i'll be okay. just don't hurt em too bad. i blame brian for all this anyhow
lyndsey: So can I burn all his v-necks?
lyndsey: I mean really.
lyndsey: Stop stealing Kenna's shirts!
mulisskaa: matt's or brians?
lyndsey: -_- Matt has v-necks?
mulisskaa: O_O nooooo
lyndsey: I'm burning every fucking v-neck within a 100 minle radius of the boys.
mulisskaa: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
mulisskaa: i can see his tats with the v neck :[
lyndsey: No grown ass man needs to wear a teen girls shirt.
mulisskaa: it's like getting a free show in public without being a perv XD
lyndsey: He can just take the damn shirt off then.
lyndsey: Those damn v-necks are atrocious.
lyndsey: JUST BECAUSE BOYS WEAR GIRL PANTS DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY TO STEAL THEIR SHIRTS TOO!
mulisskaa: they make v necks for guys...
lyndsey: -_- Still fucking nasty.
mulisskaa: hey i wear guys v necks! cause i'm not a fucking twig
lyndsey: V-necks on girls are fine. Not on boys. Never on boys.
mulisskaa: why not?
mulisskaa: all you see is chesty muscles..
lyndsey: Just lose the fuckin shirt if that's the purpose!
mulisskaa: -_- there's no winning this is there
lyndsey: No.
lyndsey: ....Is this what our fights are going to be like when we live together?
mulisskaa: lmao probably.

mulisskaa: O_O
mulisskaa: i dont want to read about someone eating squirrles!
lyndsey: Rofl
mulisskaa: i lub squirrles :[
lyndsey: I don't. Those rats are evil!
mulisskaa: it's not in my nature to hate animals
lyndsey: I don't have animals. I just have a strong dislike for some birds and squirrels.
mulisskaa: lol
lyndsey: Those rats like to get in front of my car while I'm driving!
mulisskaa: well yeah cause their brain is the size of a penny
lyndsey: Birds do it too! They dive bomb in front of my grill.
mulisskaa: again, brain size of penny
lyndsey: Yeah well that penny sized brain can be splattered over the under carriage or grill of my car while I drive away cackling.
mulisskaa: lol you're sick
lyndsey: So I've been told.

Otter Nicole: You know what's slightly racist?
lyndsey: ?
Otter Nicole: Naming every panda Ping.
lyndsey: Rofl
Otter Nicole: I mean really?
lyndsey: It is.
Otter Nicole: XD

Mootard: Who would you fuck, marry or kill among the Avenged clan?
lyndsey: Fuck Matt, marry Zack and kill....that's one's hard.
Mootard: Yeah...
lyndsey: Lol What about you?
Mootard: Um..
Mootard: I would fuck Brian. Marry Matt. Kill...damn it no.
Mootard: Fuck Brian, Matt or Johnny...Damn it.
lyndsey: Lol and does clan include roadies and techs?
Mootard: Si.
lyndsey: Oh. Then that changes my answer.
Mootard: Lol k
Mootard: You can have two for each. Cuz wow.
lyndsey: Um.... let's see. Fuck Matt or Brian, marry Jason or Johnny (duh) and there would be no kill. Let's change it to kick in the balls and that would be Danny or Rob.
Mootard: ROFL
lyndsey: Though now I feel bad leaving Zack out.
lyndsey: So he'd get thrown in the marry pile.
Mootard: Fuck Matt or Thor. Marry Brian or Jason and kick Zacky or Danny's balls.
lyndsey: And if it really came down to it, I'd fuck Thor.
Mootard: Without the stomach. XD
lyndsey: Why would you murder Zack's testicles?!
lyndsey: Lol
lyndsey: Hell with the stomach. His hair makes up for it.
Mootard: I don't know. He seems like a capable subject.

Bubble-wrap Confessions:

Tape 1, Friday 13, 2009
Me: *happily popping my bubble-wrap*
Mom: *from down the hall* Are you bored? Do you want to leave now?

Tape 2, Friday 13 2009
Me: Tehe I just picked up my bubble wrap.
Bee: Oh Lord. The best distraction ever.
Me: I'm tempted to bite it.
Bee: Where has it been?
Me: .....On my floor.....getting stepped on.
Bee: Let's NOT put that in the mouth.
Me: But but but
Bee: No.
Me: But I wanna feel the bubble popping goodness between my teeth!
Bee: Rofl. It was on the floor.
Me: In my room.
Bee: Which was FILTHY.
Me: It's not that bad!
Bee: Riiiiiight.
Me: It's not!
Bee: You gave me PICTURES! You can't stick it in your mouth.
Me: You can't stop me.
Bee: That is true. It's still nasty,
Me: Meh.
Bee: You did it already didn't you?
Me: No. But I'm about to.
Bee: Oh Lord.
Me: That wasn't as fun as it seemed.
Bee: Rofl. Now you have germs.
Me: I had them before.

Saturday, July 24, 2010: Things have been removed so we don't look totally insane but this is chronological
Mootard: Out early! Wahoo
Mootard: EARLY DAY!
Mootard: OOOOOOH
Mootard: YEAH
lyndsey: Sorry. I was in the shower.
Mootard: Lol no big. I'm here to charge my phone and then I'm goin to themovie.
Mootard: XD
lyndsey: Lol
Mootard: I'm SURPRISED. You're taking a shower?!
lyndsey: Oh hush. I'm gonna go put gas in my car.
Mootard: HAHAHA
lyndsey: XP
lyndsey: It's on E
Mootard: Oh get real, Lynds.
Mootard: Seriously?!
Mootard: Where are you going where you need gas? Cuz I know that's the only reason you're doing it.
lyndsey: Lmao the gas light came on when I was driving home yesterday.
lyndsey: I work tonight
Mootard: Haha see?
Mootard: I knew it.
lyndsey: XP
lyndsey: But Ima wait cause my mom is on her way home and I'll be able to put more than 10 bucks in my tank.
Mootard: ROFL wow

lyndsey: ...One box of macaroni probably won't be enough. Why did I think it would be?
Mootard: Wishful thinking

lyndsey: *anime fall off chair* I have 15 freakin friend requests on myspace.
Mootard: WHAT I didn't know I was pregnant show?
Mootard: LMAO
lyndsey: TLC
Mootard: I have NONE!
Mootard: How do you NOT know!?
lyndsey: Lucky bitch.
lyndsey: Lol it happens.
lyndsey: You should watch that show. It's pretty interesting.
Mootard: That's like, oh I'm not having sex, his dick slipped.
Mootard: Like bitch, you KNOW
lyndsey: Well for some of the girls it's like, they were still getting their period and didn't have morning sickness.
lyndsey: So all the major signs of pregnancy weren't there.
Mootard: What about when their STOMACHS EXPANDED?!
Mootard: THEY KNOW THEN?!
lyndsey: Some of them, the baby was developing up into their abdomen and their stomachs weren't getting bigger.
Mootard: O_O
lyndsey: Yeah.
Mootard: Gotta watch.
lyndsey: Lol it's pretty crazy.

lyndsey: Half a pan of macaroni and a piece of corn on the cob like didn't phase me at all.
lyndsey: Now I'm eating the rest of the macaroni.
Mootard: Still hungry?
Mootard: Lol

lyndsey: Are they really making a dance movie...in 3D....
Mootard: Dude, it was me? I'd be a secretary and save up.
Mootard: YES
Mootard: Step up 3D.
Mootard: You are not the only one asking why
lyndsey: What... the... FUCKING BLOODY FUCK OF FUCK
lyndsey: They tried to friend me on myspace. I didn't see that shit when it was regular WHY THE FUCK DO I WANT TO SEE IT IN 3D!? Unless some random penis comes flying out to poke me in the eye, I'M NOT FUCKING INTERESTED
Mootard: ..I'm not interested even with the penis
lyndsey: Me either. I'd leave after that scene.
lyndsey: ...I think this should go on the wall lol.
Mootard: Lmao
lyndsey: AH BLOODY FUCKIN HELL I added them on accident
Mootard: A lot of things lately shoulda went up there. We're just weird all the time.
Mootard: You liar. You want to see Step Up 3D....Wait. Can a penis be 3D?
Mootard: Awkward.
lyndsey: That's what I'd like to know. Now... a porno in 3D? I'd go see it.
Mootard: Like a threesome in 3D. It'll be weird, but it can be done. Could you imagine? A close up of the guy's penis like it's gonna smack our face.
Mootard: And this part SHOULD not go on the wall.
lyndsey: ROFL
lyndsey: Yes it should.
Mootard: No, cuz my name on Mibba is linked to other shit. I don't want employers asking about that shit.
lyndsey: I won't use your mibba name lol
Mootard: Yay
lyndsey: Lol
lyndsey: It's gonna happen.
Mootard: Oh God. The world will know I'ma closet kink.
Mootard: Not in the closet anymore.
lyndsey: And so it begins. A band from Chi-town sent me a request.
Mootard: I'M COMIN OUT, I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW
Mootard: THAT I'MA CLOSET HO! AND I'M LETTIN IT SHOW!

Mootard: i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
lyndsey: Lmao

lyndsey: I've decided that I like The Queen And I as a party night soundtrack.
Mootard: DUH
Mootard: OH NO HEY! SHE'S AT THE BOTTOM OF THE BOTTLE!
lyndsey: I find it funny she can never find her car keys Immediately after telling me she can't take it She makes the cutest faces when she screams obscenities And slurs her words because she's never not inebriated
Mootard: I hope that's not your goal
lyndsey: Rofl

lyndsey: So this is a little OCD. But when I'm playing hearts and the other cards go in an order like 2-4 and I have the five of the same suit, I have to play it even if it's not the smartest move to make.
lyndsey: And I get a little irritated when I don't
Mootard: Oh come on. WIN
lyndsey: It also bugs me when the other computer plays don't do it. Like Chad just did. Bastard.
Mootard: ROFL
lyndsey: Seriously. Just complete the set.
Mootard: So glad I don't play it.
lyndsey: I do it in a lot of games. Like in Freecell, if I can't free the ace of hearts first then the aces of diamonds.... I start a new game.
Mootard: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
Mootard: I'd hate you in a tournament.
lyndsey: I have to have them in order. Ace of hearts, then diamonds then spades then clubs
Mootard: [face palm] OCD
lyndsey: It is not!
Mootard: Ah Baptist churches

Things getting moved

So I'm part of this writing site called Mibba. I have a lot of random stuff on my profile over there. The minimalist in me is starting to go batty with the cluttered look of it all. I'm also in the process of reformatting my profile design. That being said, I'm going to move all of the random crap to here! It's what will be coming in subsequent blogs. Feel free to comment on it. It just might get updated every so often. Who knows....